The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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