There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
