pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
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You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
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"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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