She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
