But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Pants are for mortals
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
