You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
