I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
