Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize