I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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