You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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