your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
