I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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