well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize