Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
