I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
