i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You've changed since you got that strap on
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
