this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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