The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
