If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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