Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
