Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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