I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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