Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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