i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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