do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
