Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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