I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
