he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
