So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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