on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
