i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I need to stop coming to work sober
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
