I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
