So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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