Non-Jews are for practice
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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