Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
