i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
