it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
