whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
