lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize