He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
