It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
