Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
