ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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