toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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