I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
