Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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