either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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