She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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