she woke up with a sticky ear
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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