you traded sex for a burrito?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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