the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
