question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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