i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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