i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
