Do you still have your period?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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