Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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