The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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