What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
