Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
