I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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