his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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