how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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