Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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