I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
