just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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